So, about 5 years ago, I was seduced by the modern-day ‘health’ myth. ‘You are healthy only if you are thin, i.e, you look like what healthy people should look like’.
I was what you would call a moderate convert. So I didn’t get into fad diets, I didn’t obsess about food or exercised compulsively. I didn’t get any eating disorders.
But the attitude of looking at food as something to be approached with caution is still lingering. Or mentally judging fat people as unhealthy and flat stomach as fit. Honestly, my rational mind slams me for these thoughts, but I admit to having them more often than I would like to, i.e., NEVER.
Maybe it was all too much for my laid back brain and I got exhausted. Maybe I realized how it was an unending road with constant room for improvement. Maybe I was not up for taking yet another challenge in my already stressful life. Maybe I realized how this regimen was spoiling one truly innocent pleasure in my life: eating and walking. Maybe I realized that I wasn’t getting any healthier and was it worth all this mental calculation that had seemed to pour into my daily activities?
I quit the programme within a year. I retained only one learning: that as a vegetarian who was not fond of Daal, I should eat pulses. But I strove to look at the daal as something regular and not as ‘protein’.
I put on almost all my weight and inches back within another year and half. I realized there was virtually no change in how ‘fit’ and ‘healthy’ I felt or really was.
This is a story of me. I have been reading and debating about body imagery ever since I was a teen. I have never consciously judged a person by their weight. I snigger at the fashion models’ ridiculously programmed bodies. I always thought I would be the last person to fall in this trap.
But I did and even now, I find myself being judgemental every now and then. Like a Pandora’s box, once I became aware of this amazing ‘scientific’ achievement, I was sold. I look around and see people obsessed with loosing weight in the name of health, and I recognize my own obsession. This over analysis of food and health and body was exhausting for me. It punctured the simple pleasures in my life and it took me a year to realize that there is really no need for it.
I don’t give shit about people who make these type health’ claims anymore, because nine out of ten times, health is just a politically correct word for ‘ looking thin in an approved way.