No need to abort female foetuses or drown baby girls: A practical solution from Baba Ramdev and company

Want to be ASHTA PUTRA SAUBHAGYAVATI ? Without aborting the female foetus. Or drowning the newborn baby girls. Or raising them teaching how to be perfect Sati-Savitris?

An army of Hindu fertility experts are coming to rescue you from the misfortune of being mother to a girl.. or gasp… many girls… or gasp gasp… no kids!! Baanz… apshakuni women of holy India- rejoice!!

You can buy a boon, a medicine, a male heir from none other than Baba Ramdev ( Jai ho) that will instantly make you pregnant with a KULDEEPAK.

First they said that every Hindu woman should produce at least 4 kids. Because otherwise Hindus will be a minority in Hindustan. Then they thought 4 is too low. So they made it 10. A nice round figure you know. Dashputra Saubhagyavati Bhav!!

Now you have a 100% guarantee that majority of these ten offsprings to be sons.

All you have to do is pay a few hundred rupees and bear a glorious male child. Or ten of them. Baba Ramdev’s pharmacies bring you the golden elixir that is guaranteed to produce a glorious Hindu army of 56 inch chaati males in our Bharatvarsha.

I have a male dog. So maybe I should call myself ‘EkKutra Saubhagyavati?’


Happy Diwali…


Yes yes, it is the last day and all, but still… OK, have a great holiday season then.

Don’t the tealights look great though? In the cutting chai glasses, they are literally, the tea-lights. Get it ? Get it?

OK, lame joke that I have been cracking for the last four days, but I am rather proud of it..the idea, the execution as well as the joke… so..

I am sick to death about the ‘sinful indulgance’ talk at every Diwali gathering. A post coming up sometime soon on how women are conditioned to think even small happiness like eating sweets on festivals as ‘indulgance’.



India has 40% of world’s child brides!! Another feather in our sexist cap!!

image: www.

image: www.

Who says we don’t love girl child in India?? Read this report.

Read carefully you moronic parent of an unmarried girl older than 18.

We love our girls children so much, so so much, so so so very very much…that we marry them off when they are still girl children.

Thats right, we do not deprive them of this divine gift to womanhood, this destiny of every woman, this holy state of matrimony. No, we do not wait for silly things like coming to age and all that bullshit. Half of our pure, goddess-like females are married off before they are 18. Are you listening you cruel parent of an unmarried girl older than 18??

Afterall, if the girls grow too old to reach the grand old age of 19, how will they adjust in their sasural? How will they learn to listen to their husbands? How will they learn to be good mothers? How will they learn to serve their families? How will they learn to give their earnings to their in-laws? What do you have to say to this, you heartless parent of an unmarried girl older than 18?

In fact, the older the girl gets, tougher for her to fit in her real home, i.e, her husband’s family. It is really unfair for her you know. And whose fault is it when unfortunate incidents happen? If she gets beaten up, left to fend for her own, raped by her husband or burnt down by her indignant in-laws? It is all your fault, you brutal parent of an unmarried girl older than 18!!

We love our girls so much that we do not want them to face this world without a sindoor in their child-hair and mangalsutra in their child-necks and ghoongat covering their child-face. Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab!! Our ancenstors have said it so well. Do you think you know better than them, you upstart parent of an unmarried girl older than 18??

In fact the best age for a girl to be married is 12. Yes, you stupid parent of an unmarried girl older than 18. By 2020, a whopping 18.5 million girls under the age of 15 would have been blessed with a Suhaag.

Have you got it in your thick skull now that this system works so very well to protect our girls and women from being hurt? From pursuing false goals? From ruining our tradition? How it is actually good for them? And for you too?? How everyone is happy when all the girls in the society are married off and locked in their homes?

Heck, even our popular TV shows have child brides and children acting as grown up women. Watch and learn, you ignorant parent of an unmarried girl older than 18, watch and learn!!

I say, if you are a parent of a girl, a true parent, a caring parent: do not bother with cartoon channels and high school etc. Show her some nice saas-bahu shows, teach her: how to cook, cover her head and service a man. The younger a girl, better for her man. Better for her. Better for everyone.

Who are you calling a pervert, you pathetic excuse for a parent? ME?? ME??

I curse your daughter will not get married for ten more years. She will spout non-sense about deciding her own fate, choosing her own husband, her own childmaking plans, her own career, her own money. She will ruin households and ruin her own life. She will bring down our glorious tradition. She will never ever go to heaven. She will always be a paapini who will drag her entire family down the doom.

I curse you, your daughter will always be a woman of her own mind.

Yours truly,

Sanskruti Rakshak

RoseChasm , gender and race

An American student RoseChasm has written about her ordeal of living in India. The sexual harassment and threat she faced resulted in PTSD.

The response from people, Indians/ non-Indians has been unanimous on the fact that women do face sexual harassment in India at a mass scale. It is a well documented fact that India is in the top unsafe countries for women.

The debate or controversy is largely focused on the fact that Rosechasm’s statements could be perceived as racist, sweeping the entire nation with a colonial distrust of ‘coloured people from poor country’.

The issues of race, class and colonialism are intersecting with issue of gender here.

I read her article. I have been reading the diverse response it generated and here are my thoughts.

1. I do not think she is generalising about the entire country,India. It would be impossible to, considering the diversity of cultures, geographies, religions, classes in India. A Gangtok is as different from a Chennai as Paris is from Vatican. Virtually every tourist guide aimed at foreign tourists emphasizes the fact in introductory chapters.

2. I cringed at the references of spicy food and dancing on street and beautiful sarees in her account. While one can look at it as a harmless universal touristic obsession when in foreign land , there is a long colonial history of whites ‘exotisizing’ India, that makes me uncomfortable to see experiences reduced to fluffy stereotypes. These kind of references smack on touristy condensation.

3. I do think mainstream Indian media criminally under-represents harassment of lower-class, lower caste, non-urban women. PERIOD.And it needs to be corrected. ASAP. However, that doesn’t mean any account of privileged women being harassed is to be rubbished as ‘less pertinent’. The harassment differs, but Indian women are united by atrocious sexism inflicted on them no matter what class, caste, location, education.

4. An extension of the point above is white privilege. I do agree that Rosechasm’s account is getting this level of attention because she is white and she is from United States. Would an account of, say a Korean woman or a white woman from Ukraine generated this heat? No way . There is a long history of colonial stereotype of ‘dark skinned predatory male sexually threatening white woman from civilized nations’. It requires another post in itself. This stereotype is at play to make this experience resonate in white world. The colonial hangover of perceiving white experiences as somewhat more important, rational and universal does contribute to educated , upwardly mobile Indian people bristling with indignation, which would have been lesser had she been an African or from a non-western country.

5. General prejudice Indians ( of all classes) have about white people, specifically white women , is that they are sexually loose and more adventurous than Indian women. There is no doubt that white women are targeted in public as sexual objects. The fact that Indian women also are objectified, should not make Rosechasm’s experience less important. Media does highlight rapes and harassment of white women more than say, a dalit woman in a village. But again, does that take away validity of a white woman’s experience? No.

6. I do not think how ‘women are harassed everywhere in the world and not just India’, is a pertinent issue here. Yes, sexual harassment happens everywhere and travelling women are vulnerable. But that doesn’t excuse the plight of women travellers in India.

As a very enthusiastic woman traveller who doesn’t shy away from new experiences in new places when travelling solo, I have had my share of harassment. From Europe, to Asia to America. Whether I was a budget backpacker or a in more comfortable setting, there have been scary moments. All around the world. But certain pockets of India have been scarier than any country I have travelled to ( and not just rich countries, mind you), that is a fact. I would be far more careful and watchful when travelling alone in these pockets ( not generalizing the entire country here).

I feel deeply ashamed that I feel more unsafe in my own country. I feel deeply ashamed that millions of women from my own country lack resources available to me that would make them slightly less unsafe. I feel deeply ashamed that if any woman – Indian or non-Indian asks me tips on travelling/ living in India, I need to caution them about one million things.

I feel deeply ashamed for thousands of small tiny things I have internalized while living in this sexist society. It DOES NOT TAKE a white woman’s account which is trending across the world to make me and millions of Indian women feel like that. It is a sad reality that needs to be combated at every level from within. Before we worry about what the world thinks of us, let us think about what the oppressed half of Indian people ( also known as Indian women) are thinking.

Mother’s Day #2 : Cost of Motherhood

Couple of years ago, one of my team members’ maternity leave got extended because of a medical complication. By the time she was back, it was appraisal time. I rated her in the top three since she was, well, in the top three of my team for the last four years that she worked here.

I was shocked when the HR rep. told me, confidentially of course, to rate her lower. The logic was, that she had missed out on several projects and the appraisals are based on one’s performance in the last 4 quarters. Since the department has allotted budgets, this way those teammates who had worked hard in the last 4 quarters would get better raise.

This is an MNC , BTW, routinely called one of the best places to work for in the world!! I told the rep. off curtly and lectured her about how it was illegal to discriminate against women because they have been pregnant. I still kick myself for not lodging a formal complaint against the HR rep.

One of my best friends who has spent 18 years in HR in different industries in Mumbai told me that this is not an unusual sentiment.

This incident has stayed with me since it forced me to examine what truly is the cost of motherhood. And I mean the cost in hardcore commercial terms that I have seen in corporate India over the last ten years. I work in an industry that is more liberal than most, has several women in senior positions, by nature encourages freelance options, is dominated by some of the world’s topmost MNCs.

But what I see is nothing short of blatant sexism when it comes to mothers.

A disclaimer : I am talking about upper middle class, educated, urban Indian women who go out to work in organized private workplaces and get paid monthly salaries.

Mothers account for most of the Gender Wage Gap.

The infamous ‘mommy track’ is around us all to see, especially in India.

Since employers believe that mothers do not prioritize their job, mothers are routinely neglected for plum projects. Assignments that are challenging and would ultimately result in promotions/ raises.

Most workplaces do not want to invest in employees who have demanding priorities, like kids.

Mentoring and opportunities that are critical to growth from middle to senior management are rare for women in general, but more so for women with kids.

The invisible social code dictates that women should be happy to have a ‘flexible job’ that allows them to ‘balance’ their family life, mainly kids.

Many women themselves say that they prefer it. But how much of it is ‘choice’?

In absence of real options it seems like a compulsion. If men truly contributed equally to kids’ growth, would mothers hesitate to seek professional growth? (Numbers from truly gender progressive countries like Sweden suggest women continue to grow professionally at all stages thanks to a responsible childcare and social attitudes towards equal parenting.)

This of course means huge gap in the salaries between men and women, typically in their late twenties/ early thirties. This is the time when missus is busy keeping work-life balance for ‘her’ kids, while husband is busy climbing the ladder.

And why don’t as many men want to spend time with their kids? Many of my freelancer colleagues are men, and care for their kids’ daily school-play- classes routine. And I believe them when they say that even on weekends and holidays it is almost always women who ‘choose’ to spend time with kids on activities.

Since men around the world do not have to bother about ‘work-life’ balance, is it any wonder that they get to be the leaders in workplaces??

The increasing gap of salaries between spouses also means that when required, it is the woman who drops off the job market since her husband is making more than her. Not to mention, has a better chance of professional growth in future. So it is always the woman who is stay at home parent, and even if it is her choice, the choice is drafted by the social code.

The cost ( or benefit!!)of motherhood can not be calculated only in terms of money, I understand that. Neither is success in corporate world the only parameter of growth. Hell, success in corporate life has virtually nothing to do with talent , we all know that. We also know the glass ceiling applies to all women, all over the world and not just mothers.

But mothers loose out more if they are ambitious and want to go up the ladder. And let us not talk about a few women who rule the boardrooms. They are exceptions that prove the rule: Corporates care very little to groom and mentor mothers for professional growth.

So I think the next time corporates celebrate mother’s day with silly gift hampers from Body Shop, we should all ask them to shut up and pull themselves really up, heh?

A woman’s right to choose/ refuse pregnancy is a human right

I am absolutely fascinated by the Pro-life ( Ban the Abortion) vs. Pro-Choice ( Keep Abortion Legal and Safe) issue in the USA/ Catholic world.

The issue is too big to write about in one post and I will return to it sooner or later. What I want to write about here is this alarming trend of pro-lifers using the gendercide in India and China as some sort of justification of their warped sexist views. I mean ” Ban women from having women children” should be friends with ” Ban women from being in control of their reproduction”. No? But the ever irrational pro-lifers are claiming otherwise. A recent example:

Abortion has a very different context in India and one of my favourite bloggers GB recently wrote a post on it.

I am fascinated by the Pro-Life/ Pro-Choice issue in US. Mainly because it has been central to the feminist movement in the US. But also because I was a student in the United States ten years ago and I have seen the pro-life demonstrations in all their theatrical glory. With their posters and banners depicting bloody pictures of aborted fetuses, and their religious zeal. But what scared me was the absolute conviction of that crowd. That an unborn’s potential life is more important than the woman’s. For an Indian young student, it was my first encounter with western fanaticism.

Basically Pro-lifers say that a woman can’t have an abortion if she wants it. Even when it’s medically OK to have one. They believe that abortion is killing life. It’s a position which has roots in religious conviction. Some nutcases say women can’t have an abortion even to save their lives. These nutcases rule the country of Ireland. Where last year Savita Halappanvar lost her life, thanks to the doctors who listen to the Pope and not medical reports when it comes to their patients life. Hopefully the awful laws will be reviewed and hope hope hope , would be amended to treat women like human beings and not breeding cows.

So when I first came face to face with pro-life demonstrators on campus, it shocked me initially. I mean I was coming from a country where women who liked sex were vamps in mainstream Bollywood movies and were killed in real life more often than not. Not having sex before marriage was considered as a certificate of good womanhood. Only reason women would have sex, it was claimed, was to have kids. And once they were pregnant, it was their husbands and in-laws who would make the decision about the baby. In India, women were protesting against this silly nonsense and if anyone told me that a woman’s life existed for her baby, unborn or born, I would have parked my foot on their ass without blinking. ( Now I would swiftly direct my knee on their chins. It is more effective than kicking buts, trust me.)

So, when these same views were aired in US in the name of some bizarre life saving mission .. I was like ” Hey,spare me this bullshit. I know what your agenda is. “To control women’s lives by controlling their bodies.” Clean. Simple. Deadly. As old as time.”

And being an Indian woman I claim huuuge knowledge about assholes who tell women what they can or can’t do with their own lives. This pro-life concern for genderside is a classic case of assholes from one country hijacking a national tragedy from another country to support their own sexist views. “See those women in that country on the other side of the map????? Isn’t it horrible that assholes in their own country are controlling their choices? That is why we want you to lose control over your own body and be part of our own version of United States of Assholes.” Wah. Kya Logic Hai boss.

We all know that nutcases abound in United States of America. Remember Rep.Todd Akin who famously said women don’t get pregnant when they are raped? And so all those sluts out there who are pregnant and who want to killll liiiiifffeeee that begins at conception: are basically, well sluts!! My nutcase Science says so!!! Todd Akin got a swift kick on his scrawny ass by Mitt Romney. But Romney’s vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan was also against abortion under any circumstances: rape, incest, medical threat to the woman’s life. Several of hardcore pro-lifers are against contraception. Yes folks, they are!! Because pill kills the egg or the sperm or something like it. Evil pill kills the baby egg. And the baby sperm.

I mean it is actually scary, however ridiculous it may appear from the outside, that these people ran for the top political office in United States. One would think they would be just laughed at, or would be kindly taught some basic lessons. ” See young boy, a woman is a human being. Yes, she is. A bona-fide human being. She has an organ called brain. Not just a vagina for sex and Uterus for reproduction. So it is her who would decide if she wants to be a mother or not. Ok??? Now go back and write it on the board five more times: A WOMAN IS A HUMAN BEING.”

But coming back these nutcases joining hands with our own Indian nutcases, morally so to speak. There seems to be some major confusion here. I mean in India, we don’t want girls to be born because we want male heirs to our glorious Vansh…The gendercide in India denies women life because in India WOMAN IS NOT A HUMAN BEING.

Pro Lifers want women to lose control over their own life because WOMAN IS NOT A HUMAN BEING.

Human being is someone who has Human Rights. I find it sad that these two extremist groups are trying to deny women basic human right. That of Humanity.

And on a lighter note, watch my ab fav George Carlin’s legendary performance PRO LIFE IS ANTI WOMAN

You can still treat women as objects WITHOUT actually resorting to RAPE: Wow!! But How??? A Smart Guide for Smart Men by a Smart Man

(Please note that this is a CRITICAL SATIRE, borne out of extreme rage and helplessness I felt when I heard about the brutal rape of a 5 yr. old girl in Delhi , reported on April 19th 2013. The girl is out of danger, but her condition is still quite serious. )

Dear Men and Boys,

This guide is not for looser men who have been brainwashed by feminists into looking at females as people… Puhleezzz!! This guide is meant for REAL MEN who know the true value of females. OK??? OK??? \

Recent events of violent rapes have maligned the image of Indian men who are known all over the world as guardians of the great Indian Civilization. Some stupid men go and overdo things, then the hyper- sensitive media blows it out of proportion (several of these mediatrash are men , sadly) , crazy feminists demand law changes and government is forced to implement some so called ‘gender sensitive’ campaign.

I ask you: WHY?

Why go to the extremes when there are perfectly acceptable ways of treating women as objects and still not cause a furor??

Feminists say rape is not about sex but about power. I for once agree with them bitches. But why risk jail and social storm when you have smart tricks to exert power over women, that are easy and best of all, sanctioned by the society??

Tricks that leave no trace and proofs?

Tricks that will earn you a label as a macho man without having to go to jail?

Tricks that will have your peer group admiring you as a gutsy guy without any associated risks??

Sounds too good to be true?

These are not my inventions dear friend, but just age-old tricks that have been available to men and been practiced for centuries. But the recent environment of feminist hysteria might have led to you loosing track of some of these gems.

Let me guide you to these pearls of wisdom that will change your life as man wishing to look at women as objects, but forced to treat them as people.

This is not only acceptable, but also expected of you as a grown up man/ boy. If there is anything that looks female, OGLE. God has given you two eyes, make full use of them. OGLE. Make sure you make best of it by ogling body parts, so that you don’t have to waste time thinking about the female as a person etc. This trick is most effective as it can be used virtually anywhere and on anyone.

I love this term, it’s so flirtatious and actually, sweet. In a manly way. Our Bollywood movies have immortalized this theme for decades for a reason- it is ROMANTIC. The best way to tease the female is to whistle, make comments about body parts and do lewd gestures with your hands. Tip: This trick is best performed in a group, as it leads to healthy male bonding within your group.

This activity, I am afraid is limited to crowded places. But it allows you to touch the female unlike ways # 1 & 2 stated above. Again, the best way to optimize this trick is to go for the body parts. This trick requires acting skills in case confronted by a female. You need to look perfectly innocent and start shouting back at the female if you don’t want the crowds to beat you. (Tip: you better avoid the bitchy looking females).

I don’t know why they call it rape. I mean once the chick has come on a date, how does it matter if she says “no” to sex, or if she is not awake when you have sex? Its sex, not rape!! PERIOD!! Anyway. Best part about this trick is that you can always throw mud at the character of the chick very easily if she complains. Everybody knows good girls don’t date. A techie version of this trick is video shooting the chick and distributing the images/ video via internet on MMS. Instant popularity guaranteed.

If you are fortunate enough to be at a senior position, dear sir, then your office is the best hunting ground for you. Females have no business aspiring to be on a senior position anyway. Being a secretary is good enough. Start practicing with really vulnerable females and then go ahead with those bitches ambitious enough to dream of rubbing shoulders with you in the boardroom. If the harassment fails with some of these bitches, fear not. You can always spread rumours about their character in the workplace and sabotage their life. We all know the only way a woman can climb the corporate ladder is on her back, heh heh.

As you can see my friends, all the above tricks give you kicks of treating the females as objects, without any need to take any extreme measures that can put you in a spot at all.

Feminists, unfortunately, have been protesting against all these venerable cultural traditional tricks and have managed to label them as illegal (How sissy our lawmakers are); but it’s still possible to practice them to your heart’s content in our society.

India might be one of the most unsafe places for women, but you must agree that it kicks ass to be a man in this country!! Just perform these tricks smartly so that it remains that way.

All the very best for your safe future.

Smart Indian Man

P.S And all you looser rapists, WHY THE FUCK didn’t you stick to these age old proven tricks and save us this hysteria?

P.S.S And you sissy men getting all huffed and puffed up by my guide? Rot in hell with your ‘equal’ partners and your lady bosses and your ambitious daughters and your female buddies. The confident and healthy masculinity you claim is a feminist drug given to you, moron!!